Yesterday on my way home from work a funny group of guys was chatting and one asked another “What’s the name of that restaurant where they’re intentionally mean to you but it’s funny?”

His friend questioned “McDonalds?”

It had been a long day so I started laughing. Pretty much if you speak to a stranger for one word on the subway you are instant BFFs until you get off at your stop. Luckily I had someone to share what followed.

Now I don’t mean to poke fun at the mentally challenged but a special man got on at the next stop and started going insane and jumping up and down with excitement and glee. he then sat on the floor and wouldnt stop rubbing my boots (which were patent leather and shiny). He kept screaming “1, 2, There are 2!” over and over. I turned to my fast friend next to me because I mean I didnt want to kick this guy to get him off of my feet but ya know, personal space! He REALLLLLLLLY liked my boots. As my exit approached.I turned to make sure he wasn’t following me home and I see him taking pictures on his camera phone of my feet.

The rain brings out the crazies!!

So, one perk of being a blogger is being able to share your bewilderment with your readers.

This evening on the subway a man got on the subway with a vacuum and a dustbuster un-boxed. He proceeded to dustbust the ground a few times until he exited at his stop. Enter man with antique bike and rusty saw, again unprotected, sans box. He proceeded to serenade us for about two stops and then exited leaving people diving out of the rusty saw’s way…

Another day in paradise people! You can’t make this stuff up…

One more reason why sometimes it’s okay to splurge on a taxi.

Fresh Direct really stole Christmas this year from residents of Hoboken and Jersey city who were sitting pretty waiting for their groceries to be delivered. Last night, Fresh Direct failed to deliver holiday groceries on the biggest cooking night of the year and guess what they offered to fix this Scrooge-like mishap? 25% off Groceries that will be delivered 3 days after Christmas! Grrr it’s times like these we wish we had a car and a decent grocery store within a 5 mile radius!

On our way to a neighborhood near you to steal xmas!

If your contact falls out while riding the rickety subway, please hold off on replacing it in your eye if your hands were both holding the dirty rails.

This seems like common sense to me, the subway hater, but to the girl next to me on the subway this AM, it was not.

Her contact popped out of her eye, she removed one hand from the rail she was clutching and fixed it by unfolding it, then cue the other dirtier hand still holding the rail, she switched the contact into the OTHER dirty hand which then replaced it into her poor, unsuspecting eye.

We’re not positive but we think she may have some sort of eye disease by now…pink eye? Yuck!

We had not yet introduced our germ-a-phobia but now we’re out! Smartypanties nearly fainted when we saw this happen!

]]> http://smartypanties.com/2008/12/24/thoughts-from-the-subway/feed/ 2 http://smartypanties.com/2008/12/23/in-a-new-york-hate-of-mind-new-york-crowds-peak-before-christmas/ http://smartypanties.com/2008/12/23/in-a-new-york-hate-of-mind-new-york-crowds-peak-before-christmas/#comments Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:24:48 +0000 Katie Lara http://smartypanties.com/?p=677 Macy’s is an indication of what the crowds have been like in Heralds Square. It’s so NOT tolerable!

I have to wrestle with these crazy shoppers on my way to and from work every day! We can’t wait till this subsides!

Today while experiencing a lovely NYC afternoon, complete with 2 inches of ice and non-rubber soled shoes I was walking (slipping) around with my BFF in from France and his friend on the Upper West side after brunch. We got cookies from Levain bakery (best cookies ever–to be discussed later) and were faced with the question of where we could sit and eat these tasty morsels since the bakery has 2 stools faced by a webcam that broadcasts to online viewers; needless to say, we wanted to binge in private. We decided on Starbucks (sigh) to get some tea and eat our cookies. We were trying to figure out where the closest one was when a tiny little old woman interrupted our guessing game of where the closest Starbucks was. “I live in the neighborhood can I help you?” she questioned? To which I responded, “Yeah actually, where is the closest Starbucks?”

“Star-BOX? Can you spell it for me? Starbocks? I’ve never heard of it.”

How is that possible? Not only did we not believe she lived in the neighborhood, we aren’t sure she is even a resident of this galaxy. Who hasn’t heard of Starbucks? Hmm, it’s just some tiny chain started in Seattle lady. There are only like a billion of them.

Yes, New York is beautiful at Christmastime. Especially when it’s 60 degrees outside in December. The holiday window displays are beautiful. The Christmas lights are twinkling. But the people are still bonkers. Yesterday a homeless person hugged me. I’m not kidding. One minute she was calling this woman fat and the next thing I knew, she had her arms around me. She hugged me! She explained “Not you sweetie pie. I would never call you fat. I was talking to that cow who walked by.” I almost had a heart attack. I mean, personal space, really? She then proceeded to ask me how that obese woman got so fat. After the shock wore off, I smiled with my Ohio charm and answered, “There are too many cupcake shops on the upper west side.” Then she confessed her love to me. And then we lived happily ever after. After I caught my breath again that is. I heart New York.

So if you can’t be in New York this holiday season, be happy to be away from crazy people and Christmas-Tourist crowds.

Riding the subway is one of my least favorite activities in case you haven’t read my blog before. Do you ever have those days when you just feel like The Big Guy is watching and laughing. Like today, for instance, riding the subway home from work, I let go of the rail for one second to adjust my Waldorf-esque head gear and the driver slammed the brakes and I went flying. Seriously flying, I knocked into a brusque she-man. Let’s just say I got off a stop early because I couldn’t take her sighing and eye-rolling. Does anyone know the odds of that happening the exact moment I let go? Bueller? Bueller?

I HEART NY!!!